Although many people think that the terms “autobiography” and “memoir” can be used interchangeably, there are some differences between a memoir and autobiography. Of course, a memoir must be about your life. However, it doesn’t provide the complete story, while an autobiography tells everything, describing the events that happened from the moment you were born to the present day. We decided to share some useful tips with you at Writers-House.com blog so that you can know what publishers are looking for.
An autobiography simply lists events, focusing on major achievements. Unlike an autobiography, a memoir has a clear narrative with a specific theme or clear objectives. For instance, the objective of your memoir can be to tell your audience how you overcame some difficulties in your life and became who you are. Thus, when writing a memoir, you will only focus on the events from your life that illustrate this topic. There are some common topics for memoirs. For example, an author may write about growing up in a poor town or neighborhood, abusive relationships, substance abuse or addictions, etc. After the author overcame these problems, he or she may have become a wealthy person, found faith, gained power and influence, created a family, or just become happy.
The more vivid details a memoir provides, the more effective and impressive it is. However, a great story and interesting details are not the only things that determine the success of a memoir.
What Publishers Like in a Memoir
First of all, you don’t need to be wealthy or famous to write a successful memoir. Of course, people will want to learn more about your life if you’re a celebrity so such people have a certain advantage when it comes to publishing and selling. However, there are many different stories of success and even more stories that people can simply relate to. The main thing that makes memoirs successful is the truth. The truth can be interesting, inspiring, or painful but it’s always transferable.
What publishers and readers are looking for is relatable stories. Any experienced editor or literary agent can quickly determine whether or not some story is worth publishing depending on whether or not other people can relate to it. Even if no one knows who you are but your story is relatable, publishers can see it as an opportunity to publish a successful book. Moreover, looking for such hidden gems is what most literary agents do all the time.
Keep in mind that, although you’re the subject of a memoir, it shouldn’t be about you. It must be about any person who reads it and learns from it. A memoir must provide value for the readers. Although it may seem strange to focus on your readers when writing about yourself, your goal is to grab their attention and keep it because you want them to read the whole thing and to recommend your memoir to their friends.
A Step-By-Step Guide to Writing a Memoir
Although writing a memoir may seem to be an easy task, writing a good memoir requires proper planning and great commitment. Here are some things that will help you write a memoir that people will want to read.
- Know your theme and stick to it
Unfortunately, no one will care that you’ve overcome some difficulties and become successful if this story isn’t engaging. The main point of a memoir is not to tell what happened to you but what can happen to others, as well. Let’s be honest, people only care about their own lives so they don’t want to know how awesome you are. Your story must be engaging, and your audience should be able to learn something from it. When writing a memoir, think of what is valuable about your story and what can make your readers’ lives better if they read it. The more you offer them, the more successful your story will be. Thus, focus on relatable, helpful, and transferable things.
- Search for common ground
No matter where people live, how old they are, what is their background or social status, they all need food, shelter, and love. We all are afraid to lose people that we love, to be abandoned, or to feel lonely. No matter what is the main theme of your memoir, people will relate to your story if you touch upon these fears and desires. Besides, make sure to write about things that you’re really passionate about. In this case, your story will be interesting and engaging for people of any race, gender, or religion.
- Select your anecdotes carefully
Good memoirs allow readers to imagine themselves in these stories. Your audience wants to feel what you’ve experienced or to apply your experiences to their lives. Simply put, they want to identify with you. If you’re not ready to share the whole truth, you may not be ready to write your memoir. Select anecdotes that illustrate your theme, no matter how painful they might be for you. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and raw — it will only make your story more effective and realistic.
- Imagine that you’re writing a novel
Your goal as a writer should be not to tell but to show. The ability to paint a vivid picture is what helps writers create great novels, and it will help you write a great memoir, as well. Use vivid descriptions, dialogues, conflicts, and moments of tension to bring life into your writing. Remember that a memoir isn’t an autobiography so chronology shouldn’t be your main concern. Think of what anecdotes illustrate a certain chapter best and don’t be afraid to include them in it, even if they don’t fit chronologically. Just make sure that your readers won’t get confused and provide the necessary explanation. If you approach your memoir as a novel, you should also understand that you’re the protagonist. Thus, your memoir should explain how you’ve become who you are and what you’ve learned from your experiences.
- Be careful when writing about others
It takes a lot of bravery and courage to demonstrate your weaknesses and failures, but what about other people that are present in your story? What about your family, friends, etc.? Should you share all the dirty details about them, as well? The answer is no. However, in some situations, people may give you permission to describe some negative things about their lives. In this case, it’s up to you to figure out what you should do, based on your own ethical principles. Be careful.
What Should You Do?
The best memoirs are real and raw. How can you achieve it without exposing personal events from other people’s lives? The solution is simple. You can always change names, time, or places to protect people from being identified by others. For example, if your mother who told you that you’re a failure became a reason why you became a drug addict, you can attribute it to an imaginary teacher or coach. But what about telling the truth? Well, you will not lie if you include a disclaimer that you’ve changed names to protect identities.
An Autobiography vs. Memoir
As we’ve already mentioned above, the terms “autobiography” and “memoir” mean different things, although people often use them interchangeably by mistake. Both a memoir and autobiography focus on the author’s experiences. However, while an autobiography depicts the events from the author’s life chronologically, a memoir is all about a narrative. It has a specific theme and focuses on the author’s relationships with events and feelings associated with them, rather than on the events themselves.
Memoirs are less formal than autobiographies. They are also less inclusive and less strict, focusing on the emotional truth and the way different events shaped the author’s life and personality. Unlike memoirs, autobiographies present events in a strict chronological order and are based on facts only.
Additional Writing Tips
When writing a memoir, your main goal is to tell a relatable story that will not only illustrate your life but also teach your readers a valuable lesson or make them realize that they can experience the same things. Making your story valuable is extremely important, no matter how exactly you’re going to do it.
If you want to write a good memoir, we recommend that you avoid some common mistakes:
- Don’t turn your story into a dry autobiography and stick to your theme.
- Don’t include meaningless details that don’t contribute to the meaning of your story.
- Don’t brag.
- Don’t lie and don’t hide the truth. The only exception is that you can change details about other people to protect their identities.
- Don’t try to preach and don’t look down on your readers.
Your story must be engaging so we also recommend that you don’t start your story too slowly. Start with a hook that will immediately grab your readers’ attention and get straight to the point so that they can quickly find themselves in the middle of the action. However, don’t start at the climax. Just make sure that the beginning of your memoir is interesting and motivates your readers to keep reading.
To learn how to write a good memoir, you can familiarize yourself with this genre. Read memoirs to understand what style and tone appeal to different kinds of audience. Notice interesting details about the structure of successful memoirs and literary devices used by various authors. Don’t read memoirs written by famous people only. We suggest that you read as many memoirs as you can to understand what makes stories relatable and how to make any story interesting. The more you read, the better you write.
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